Treatment

The days are long gone when marriage was considered an unbreakable bond between a man and a woman. Time has evolved and so have marriages in India. The cultures have mixed, the family structure has changed and the attitude of the two partners towards each other has changed as well. They say for any relationship to thrive, the two people involved should be good friends before anything else; the same is true for marriage. True commitment, honesty and respect towards each other are most important for a marriage to succeed. Many in our society think that marriage is a failure only when two people are legally divorced, in reality marriage starts failing when two people start hiding things from each other. Women need to accept that a man is a head of the family, without thinking he is being sexist and a Man needs to accept that a woman too have a life of her own. At the end of the day two adults always have some difference in opinion, but the common ground that needs to be worked out is that both the people involved in a marriage, want the same thing out of it.

7 signs you’re marriage is breaking down:

  • Respect- Respect for each other is a key for a successful marriage, when one or both the partners stop respecting one another; the behaviour of a person starts to depict that through forms of angry outbursts, verbal aggression and in some cases physical aggression.
  • Compromise- In a relationship both partners have to compromise on a few things to spend time with each other, to avoid certain people and to not do a certain things. But when one or both the people involved in a marriage stop doing that to make each other happy, the two people grow away from each other.
  • Intimacy- Physical affection, keeps the bond strong between a couple, during times of happy and tough times both. Holding hands, giving each other a hug goes a long way in making the other partner feel secure. But when that intimacy is lacking, more often than not something is going wrong in the marriage.
  • Avoiding Each Other- When two people start working for extremely long hours, staying out of the house for most time, even while at home spending time on T.V, internet or phone. Chances are they are avoiding a confrontation about what’s wrong or where their relationship is headed.
  • Repeated Arguments- Having repeated arguments about the same issues over and over again, without any conclusion is a worrying sign that both the partners are venting out their frustration and anger on each other, argument with negative emotions from both side and without any conclusion is damaging for a marriage.
  • Attraction to other people- If you find yourself getting attracted to other people and thinking of having another relationship simultaneously, that’s a serious sign that you’re marriage have started to rot and you also have some responsibility to make things work again.
  • Escalating Fights- Getting involved in fights is natural for any relationship, but if over a period of time the fights starts getting escalated to new levels like verbal or physical aggression, it is a warning sign that marriage is headed towards a serious breakdown.

How Marriage Counselling helps?

  1. Changes the views of the relationship.Throughout the therapeutic process, the therapist attempts to help both partners see the relationship in a more objective manner.  They learn to stop the “blame game” and instead look at what happens to them as a process involving each partner. They also can benefit from seeing that their relationship takes place in a certain context.  For example, couples who struggle financially will be under different kinds of situational stresses than those who are not.   Therapists begin this process by collecting “data” on the interaction between the partners by watching how they interact. Therapists then formulate “hypotheses” about what causal factors may be in play to lead to the way the couples interact. Different therapists will use different strategies, but as long as they focus on altering the way the relationship is understood, the couple can start to see each other, and their interactions, in more adaptive ways.
  2. Modifies dysfunctional behaviour. Effective couples therapists attempt to change the way that the partners actually behave with each other. This means that in addition to helping them improve their interactions, therapists also need to ensure that their clients are not engaging in actions that can cause physical, psychological, or economic harm.   In order to do this, therapists must conduct a careful assessment to determine whether their clients are, in fact, at risk.  If necessary, the therapist may recommend, for example, that one partner be referred to specialized deaddiction treatment, or to anger management.  It is also possible that if the risk is not sufficiently severe, the couple can benefit from “time-out” procedures to stop the escalation of conflict.
  3. Decreases emotional avoidance. Couples who avoid expressing their private feelings put themselves at greater risk of becoming emotionally distant and hence grow apart. Therapists help their clients bring out the emotions and thoughts that they feel resistance to the other person. Attachment-based couple therapy allows the partners to feel less afraid of expressing their needs for closeness.  According to this view, some partners who failed to develop “secure” emotional attachments in childhood have unfulfilled needs that they carry over into their adult relationships. They fear showing their partners how much they need them because they are afraid that their partners will reject them. So therapists help their clients expresses their true feelings in a way that will eventually draw them closer together.
  4. Improves communication. All effective couple therapies focus on helping the partners to communicate more effectively. The communication should not be abusive, nor should partners ridicule each other when they do express their true feelings. The therapist may help the couple with providing knowledge about what types of communication are effective and what types will only cause more conflict.  They can learn how to listen moreactively and empathically. However, exactly how to accomplish this step requires that therapists turn back to the assessments they performed early on in treatment.  Couples with a long history of mutual criticism may require a different approach than those who try to avoid conflict at all costs.
  5. Promotes strengths. Therapists point out the strengths in the relationship and build resilience.  Because it involves focusing on problem areas, it’s easy to lose sight of the other areas in which couples function effectively. The point of promoting strength is to help the couple derive more enjoyment out of their relationship. The therapist may “prescribe” that one partner do something that pleases the other.  Therapists also focus more on emotions which might help the couple develop a more positive “story” or narrative about their relationship.  In either case, the therapist should avoid trying to put his or her own spin on what constitutes strength and let this be defined by the couple.

Reference

Benson, L. A., McGinn, M. M., & Christensen, A. (2012). Common principles of couple therapy. Behavior Therapy, 43(1), 25-35. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2010.12.009

Life is full of challenges and time doesn’t stand still for anyone, we sometimes keep absorbing problems, stress, loss and grief. But there comes a time in an individual’s life where the person no matter who they are, they need someone to listen to them, understand them and dig out the reason for their present state of mind. Problems and its affect on a person varies from individual to individual as everyone perceives things differently, have different intensity of emotions and reacts differently to situations. The key for any individual is to discover themselves and find solutions to the problems on that discovered individuality. In this time’s rampant technological progress we hardly get the opportunity to have a face to face communication, as it has been replaced by whatsapp, facebook and other social media tools. One to one counselling helps a person in having a real conversation about their own selves without any barrier underneath which they can hide from like in other non-personal modes of communication.

How does psychotherapy helps?

A psychologist can help you work through some day to day life problems. Through psychotherapy, psychologists help people of all ages live happier, healthier and more productive lives.

In psychotherapy, psychologists apply scientifically validated procedures to help people develop healthier, more effective habits. There are several approaches to psychotherapy — including cognitive-behavioural, interpersonal and other kinds of talk therapy — that help individuals work through their problems.

Psychotherapy is a collaborative treatment based on the relationship between an individual and a psychologist. Grounded in dialogue, it provides a supportive environment that allows you to talk openly with someone who’s objective, neutral and nonjudgmental. You and your psychologist will work together to identify and change the thought and behaviour patterns that are keeping you from feeling your best.

By the time you’re done, you will not only have solved the problem that brought you in, but you will have learned new skills so you can better cope with whatever challenges arise in the future.

Teenage is an age of experimentation, where a child gets easily influenced and fantasised by wrong things and even faces conflicts about their role to the society. Whether, it is experimenting with a substance, gambling, smoking, sex (pornography) or even with electronic gadgets. The hormone brings about rapid changes in a child during this period of time, where an urge to explore, rebel and break the norms of society occur. It is important to have a healthy environment at home and understanding between the parents and the child. There are high chances of kids with disoriented families and poor environment at home experimenting and abusing the above mentioned things. On the other hand, kids who are closer to their parents and live in a good atmosphere share things with their parents better and are more open to accept their mistakes. At the end of the day, kids do experiment with things and like every adult they are required to learn from their mistakes. If they commit the same mistakes again and again, the problem most times is much serious than it appears to be, emotional issues, heartbreak, peer pressure, social pressure, parental negligence, child abuse or some mental disorder can be the cause. We live in a society which is extremely judgemental at most times and that further stops a child from opening up, when he realises he has done something wrong, this is where counselling helps. We understand not just the problem, but the root cause behind it. We look to give them a permanent solution and emotional healing. We can help them building a bridge between the reality and their wishes or fantasies.

Every family is unique, whether it is a joint or a nuclear one. Each has its own unique structure, rules, religious beliefs, diversity, thinking and attitude towards one another, when the times are difficult and challenging. The foundation of every family is built upon some values, rules, understanding and respect for every individual family member. At the end of the day the point of family is being there for one another through thick and thin and having a support structure where every individual can discuss their problems and look for the experienced guidance from the elderly and the positive and ambitious advice from the young members.

What Has Changed?

The time has evolved significantly and the effect of globalisation has been very influential on the Indian culture and family structure. Long working hours of husband and wife, increased socialising, change in dynamics of relationships and expectations from one another, increased exposure of various things to kids at a very early age whether sex, alcohol, smoking, drugs and increased generation gap between the elders and the young ones have made the family dynamics increasingly complicated and sensitive. They fail to understand each other’s values and principles on which they live their life upon and as a result family members fail to understand one another’s life.

How family counselling helps?

A counsellor is more interested in knowing what goes though between two individuals, than what goes inside an individual’s head. He/ she evaluate the relationship shared among two individuals, their closeness, differences and reasons for conflict and stress. They evaluate the history of every individual’s relationship with one another and look to address the root cause issue to stop the blame game that generally happens amongst two individual who has opposing views and conflict. They also look to highlight and try to resolve issues on which regular argument takes place. Their job is to minimise the effect of the crisis between family members.

Key for a healthy family:

  1. Communication- Having regular communications with each other to know what’s happening in their life, what their plans are, what’s bothering them and even a how are you can be effective in building a strong family bond.
  2. Eating together- Taking atleast one meal together in a day, helps a family bond and have enjoyable moments together.
  3. Expressing emotions- It is important for a family to showcase their current emotions towards each other, whether it is happiness, frustration or anger. It is especially good to let go of all the negative feelings and not hold grudges. Venting out feelings helps a family member clear his mind and cast his emotions in a more channelized and matured way.
  4. Helping each other- The help towards each other may not necessarily be always financial or emotional one; it can also be just giving a family member a ride to work or school, waiting for them for a meal, watching a T.V show of their preference.
  5. Respect- Respecting one another, whether someone who is aged or young is a must for every family member to maintain a healthy environment at home.
  6. Patience- Sometimes elders get temperamental and scold others very easily, it is important for the younger generation to be patient and understand that temper issues are normal in old age, whereas elders should understand that times have changed a lot since they grew up to the present time and adjust to the changing culture and lifestyle of people.

Issues where Family Counselling is must:

  • Mental Disorders
  • Substance/alcohol addiction
  • Financial problems
  • Strained relationship between parents affecting children
  • Eating disorders
  • Self harm behaviour
  • Inappropriate sexual experimentation by young children
  • Anger management

Door of Hope is residential care unit and associated with “The Mind Tree”, that addresses a wide range of effective treatment strategies for psychiatric patients and substance users. At Door of Hope, we treat them with utmost dignity, respect and care. We challenge and encourage each other to change the dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors, and enable them to live with responsibility, integrity, and accountability for their own actions. We focus on helping individuals develop skills and access resources needed to increase their capacity to be successful and satisfied in the living, working, learning, and social environments of their choice. Our treatment is based on a holistic approach emphasizing on physical, mental, social, emotional and spiritual needs so as to address integration of a suffering individual as a human being.

Specialty:

  • Regular visits of Psychiatrists
  • Individual sessions of counseling
  • Family Counseling
  • Yoga /Meditation
  • Work Therapy (eg. Candle Making etc)
  • Group Sessions
  • Psychodrama/ Role plays
  • Music Therapy
  • Art Therapy
  • Talks on presentations by Patients
  • Group Discussions
  • Lectures on Psycho education, Acceptance, Anger Management, Relationship etc.

Door of Hope is committed to:

  • Providing every client a supportive and healing environment.
  • Help every client find love, hope, forgiveness, encouragement, joy and fulfillment in life.
  • Putting the life back on track with individualized support and guidance

Services Offered:

Long term, short term and day care program for psychiatric patients and substance users,12 Step, AA and NA programs, Alcoholism Treatment, Detoxification, Drug Addiction Treatment, Family Services, Relapse Prevention, Residential Rehabilitation, Substance Abuse Counseling.

Contact Details

Address: 27 Mini Farm, Khasra no. 775 Chhatarpur, New Delhi-110074

Contact Us: 91-8800765069, 91-9650011968

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